My world has changed significantly since I last wrote anything. To begin with chronologically, I did ask for a C-Section, and the doctor wanted to make sure I really thought about it and knew what I was getting into. He told me to think over the week and tell him my choice on Friday (I had to do another blood test and 24 hour urine test) which wasn’t quite a week between the two consecutive appointments.
I was adamant about the C-Section and the doctor didn’t argue, and Mike and I got to schedule it. Reasons for a C-Section were: I have Group B Streptococcus, and the risks of my daughter getting it when I was in labor wasn’t worth it to me even with the use of steroids (a C-Section all but eliminates the risk of infecting a baby). A C-Section also works for me because I could schedule it, and not be totally caught off guard by labor, which honestly terrified me. Another general reason I wanted a C-Section was because I just felt like it was the right thing to do, I felt at peace with the idea and I felt like for some reason a Caesarean Section would benefit my daughter for some reason (like if she had the cord around her neck and the doctors didn’t know it, or if she shifted to breach and they didn’t catch it in time, or if she weighed much more than I could handle delivering naturally, etc). And to me a C-Section wouldn’t make me less of a mother just because I didn’t labor for hours, and also I figured it would hurt more if anything than regular labor, yet it was the choice I preferred for years. I didn’t mind the pain for longer and I didn’t mind the risks, because the benefits of it far outweighed the risks in my eyes. A shallow minor reason I am going to admit to also is that my baby wouldn’t be all swollen, bruised and cone-headed if I had a C-Section and I figured that it would be nicer on the baby to not have to be squeezed in the birth canal for x amount of hours. Lastly I thought that I might avoid incontinence whether that would be permanent or temporary.
We had to schedule it in the larger building and we had to wait for a long time, but I felt confident about my decision and wasn’t scared to have my first major surgery. The part that did scare me was the IV! I also knew that there was a good chance that since there was no medical necessity in the doctor’s eyes to do a C-Section, that my insurance probably wouldn’t cover the surgery, and I still wanted it nonetheless. In fact, I still don’t know if my insurance will cover my elective C-Section. I also felt in my heart that it was the absolute right choice for us and that there would be some reason in the end that would justify my yearning for a surgical delivery. I was scheduled for Friday July 9th, 2010 for my daughter’s birthday. I was more nervous that I’d go into labor in the following week and not get to receive my C-Section than of the actual operation. In fact, I prayed more than daily that I wouldn’t go into labor until Friday morning if I had to labor at all. And no, in fact it wasn’t the fear of pain that worried me, like I mentioned before, I felt like a surgical delivery would hurt more and for a longer period of time. And my elective Caesarean wasn’t to prevent getting too big, or to prevent stretch marks (which, by the way, I have about a million of and I look like a zebra, but oh well! At least they’ll fade away eventually!) it wasn’t really a choice I made for shallow reasons, and I was (and still am) very pleased with my decision.
Well the week before my C-Section was grueling, I was so stressed and nervous that I’d go into labor. The 4th of July was on Sunday and I worried that the fireworks would set of labor somehow (and they didn’t, but I was still scared that they might). It was a wonderful 4th spent with Mike and my sister at Greenacres Park where we watched Smoke on the Water together. The show started exactly an hour late and was only 15 minutes long. Not exactly worth going to, but we’d wanted to. Samantha at least got the memory of going with us.
The Thursday before the operation was Mike’s 22nd birthday. We went out to eat at Furr’s Cafeteria with my mom and sister to celebrate both of their birthdays at once (my mom’s birthday was the 12th of July and we’ve all celebrated both together since Mike and I got together over two years ago, this is the third joint birthday celebration). It was nice, and it felt sort of like my “last meal” because I didn’t know when I’d get to go out to lunch or dinner again after the baby arrived.
The reason I was so terrified, was that my due date was that Saturday, the very next day after my scheduled C-Section so it was too close for comfort. I could’ve gone into labor at any moment, but my mom insisted that all of her children were breach and at least two weeks late and that it would probably we much the same for me.