I am in no way looking to jump into a rebound relationship. Nope, not this time. Not saying I am not dating casually if someone were to ask, but it isn’t my focus. I am letting God bring the people I need in my life to me, and I am keeping an open heart. I just really need a friend who wants me around and can sympathize with what I am going through. I need a friend who likes to do things I like to do. I liked having someone to turn to that I felt would always be there, and now I feel like I am doing stunts without the safety net. I miss the feeling of knowing that someone wasn’t going to let me down this time (even though I did get let down). It just sucks.
On happier notes, I have found some new friends and some old friends who I have reconnected with. They make me really happy, so happy in fact that I find myself smiling for no reason at all when I get to be with any one of them. This is what I need. I am so glad I have it, even if I don’t get it all of the time. Maybe in time these friends will be my new best friends who actually want me around. I just have the “woe-is-me” attitude that makes me sometimes feel like no one wants me around because I sometimes go weeks without talking to any given person. Maybe it is my fault though, but at times I feel unlovable.
Back on subject, I love my church friends! I’ve missed good clean fun, and I didn’t even realize it until recently! I love that last night I was invited to a spur-of-the-moment “going to the movies” with friends. I can’t even tell you when someone last invited me spur-of-the-moment to anything! It was a very welcome pleasant surprise! I was just being bored at home when I got a call and instantly had plans! I loved being thought of, I feel like it has been a while since people thought of me to invite me to something. I liked it, and I hope I can be someone people want around again some time soon. It is nice to be single for that, because I didn’t have plans I got to do some pretty awesome things that last few days. All I can do is thank God for it, he brought my life to this point and is helping me get back on my feet.