I am just plain lost. I am not even angry at all, just so puzzled about the behavior of men. I do not understand at all why men fear marriage. Living together? Fine. Having kids out of wedlock? Fine. Engagement? Take is easy there, that is a huge deal. Marriage? Run for the hills! It's a trap! Or so it seems to me from my experience with men. I don't know why it is that men can tell you, "I love you," or "You're my soulmate," or "You are the only one I want for the rest of my life," or "I want to grow old with you," or "I want you to be the mother of my children," and then they are afraid of the words "marriage" and "engagement"? "Commitment", no, not particularly that word, but the words that mean it and exhibit the true commitment are frightening? I am confused.
Why is it that those two words equal a reaction from a man like, "Wait, I said I want to marry you, but not now" or "Soulmate doesn't mean that I am ready to get married" or "What is the rush?". Really? I am so baffled. Please let me in on the reason that spending your lives together is not scary unless you add that a piece of paper and a formal commitment. How is that somehow so terrifying for a guy?
Another thing. What is this whole spiel on "I am still young," or "I am not ready to give up my freedom yet," What "freedom"? How on earth am I taking your freedom from you? I haven't up until now and I never intend to, so how does that apply or is it some other "freedom" of which I am unaware of? I don't get it, I really don't understand how I am somehow ruining your youth or keeping you from being anything you want to be or doing almost anything you desire. Seriously, I am at a loss.
I see so many positives to getting married and having a permanent commitment to one another but Mike see some of it but I keep hearing, "Yeah, but not now". Fine, that is perfect I doubt I could get a wedding together in 24 hours anyway. The point is that I don't want to rush, I don't even think it would be smart to get married quite yet, all I want is a timeline. Why is that so hard? I want to know if I am wasting my time and promises mean nothing. You can promise me all day long that I am the only girl for you or that no one else compares or that you'll marry me ("someday") but it all means less than nothing. How do I know for certain we shall be together? How do I know you aren't saying that to get more? Words are meaningless, show me. Promises don't mean a darn thing until I have actions to prove them. I am not saying I want to get married withing the next year, I am saying I want to in the next two and a half years. But I do want a commitment of some sort to ease my mind and to help me feel like the wait isn't for nothing and that at the end of the two and a half years I am going to still hear "I am not ready." I don't even necessarily want an engagement ring but being here in limbo makes me believe that we are growing stagnant and that the relationship is at a standstill. Relationships that don't move forward tend to die.
Points of my blog: I don't really understand men but I want to, I don't want to get married or engaged for a while, and lastly I do want a commitment or a timeline so that I keep from wasting years of my life in a relationship that may not go forward.