I needed to blog! So The whole pregnancy thing is going great, I couldn’t have found a more perfect man in the whole world to have a child with! Mike is so utterly supportive, he is better than I have ever dreamed the father of my child would be. He is so involved and loving. He takes care of me and talks to our little girl often. I feel so completely blessed to have him! Even when I’m afraid, he talks me through it and makes me feel like it will all be alright after all. He quite simply is the best! I loved him before, but man, this takes my love for him to astonishing new heights! He is so perfectly made for me!
On other baby-related subjects, I feel my little girl kick often. Sometimes it happens mostly at night, while other days she is awake and moving all day. But she usually isn’t active throughout a 24 hour period, she has her “down time” half of the day one way or the other. I love feeling her move around, and I’ve told several people how much I’ll miss her kicking me when she arrives. Mike wants to hold her and meet her already and so he won’t miss me being pregnant because he’ll get to participate. I’ll like that as well, but it is something about growing a new little half-you inside yourself that I’ll miss. Mike reminds me not to get too used to it because he can’t really keep me pregnant all of the time! Shucks, lol! My favorite part about her already is that she is half mine, and half Mike’s. She is our love in a tangible and real live form. I can’t get over that, and maybe I never will, but I think that is a good thing. We are excited to meet her! 15 more weeks and we should meet her, if she is on time that is.
Naming our baby girl: Mike and I are keeping her name to ourselves when or if we decide upon it. We’ll tell everyone when she arrives, but not before. We are doing this to minimize peoples’ criticism of our choice. We love her name, but other people have opinions that probably won’t agree. Even with simple names like “Jane” there would be one person who wouldn’t like it because they once knew a Jane who was a jerk. I can basically guarantee you haven’t heard the names we like unless in a past life you lived in the 14th century in Ireland, Scotland or Wales (unless of course you are obsessed like me with obscure names from those countries). The point is, the names we like aren’t spelled phonetically, nor are they English-reader friendly, but they are unique for today and sound beautiful. We’ve agreed on 4 names with middle names that we like best. But we aren’t telling even our own families these, so don’t ask.
Last subject to do with babies: I have discovered that 5 of my friends, relatives and acquaintances are also pregnant! I’m so happy for you all! It must be in the water system or something! Even Mike’s sister Elisa is having a baby boy this year (he is due a month after mine and Mike’s baby)! It is really fun to know that so many of my friends are going through, went through or are about to go through what I am! It half sucks that the limelight isn’t totally on my pregnancy, but also it is a relief that it isn’t! I’m just happy to get to share this experience with so many girls! Tell me if there are some more pregnancies I am unaware of because I love the news!
Different subject: I don’t know what to do exactly about work, college and the new baby. I can’t really decide now anyway because I don’t know how I’ll feel when she gets here. I don’t know if I’ll deliver her without complications or via C-Section. I don’t know the recovery time I’ll need, etc. Everyone is different so I have to put some plans on hold. I do, however, have a few choices.
My choices are: A) return to school in the fall, don’t attempt to work but instead use my financial aid money and loans to keep me afloat while I try to keep up with school. B) I could skip the fall semester and try to go back to school later on if possible (not likely. If I’m out of school even a semester, I’ll get used to it and I’d have to have a full-time job, which would make me dependent upon the money. If I leave school it could be years or never before I return to college. If I didn’t have financial aid to return it would be even longer because I’d have to pay for college out of my own pocket. How could I afford to go to school again after a full-time job hopefully with benefits? School wouldn’t be practical nor plausible) or lastly C) I could get a full-time job (which I’ve already applied to one) with benefits and leave school for a prolonged period of time, possibly to never return. I am really tired of school. I sort of lean toward working full-time and not having any more blasted homework to have to think about after work. Work would be for work-related thoughts, home would be for family and fun. It is appealing! Three options, and I have no idea the best one!
Even with those options there are slight variations like timing. I could get a full-time job now, or in 6 months. I could quit school now (if a job offer arose) or not at all. Keep in mind that I will graduate with 2 Associate’s Degrees in May. Do I really need to keep this school thing up? What is the best choice? In reality, I’m letting God figure out the major stuff. He’ll open the doors to the path I should take, and it’ll be obvious what I should do when I see it. For now, I’m in the dark but soon I’ll be enlightened.
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